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The Boss Mom Podcast - Business Strategy - Work / Life Balance - -Digital Marketing - Content Strategy

Welcome to the Boss Mom Podcast, where mompreneurs and women in all stages of raising their business and family come to get tools, tips and support to help make their Boss Mom world just a little bit easier. With host Dana Malstaff
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The Boss Mom Podcast - Business Strategy - Work / Life Balance - -Digital Marketing - Content Strategy
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Now displaying: April, 2017
Apr 29, 2017

So, let's talk about how to be a good boss. This is a question I get asked a lot, since we've grown a pretty great team here at Boss Mom.

I'm by no means a perfect boss (I have to remind myself regularly that no one is!) but there are some things that I've learned will definitely help you be a better boss when you get to the point of hiring and leading team members in your business.

What I always seem to hear is that people are afraid of hiring people. And, I get it....the prospect of things not working out as planned, and hiring people actually making our lives harder instead of easier is a scary one!

There's a million questions that often run through our heads when we think of hiring a team.....

How do I know what to give them to do?

How do I make sure they stay on top of doing their job?

How do I make sure hiring someone is actually worth it to me?

What will I do if it doesn't work out?

All of this, and so much more, is what we're going to dive in and address in this episode, so click play and enjoy.

Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher

 

Being a good boss isn’t all about things being easy.....but it does get easier over time. I think that, just like in relationships, we have to past this idea that we'll find the perfect person, fall in love with them the second we meet them, that everything's going to be perfect and we'll just "get" each other.

The reality is that things don't usually work out like that. Good relationships take time to bud and bloom, and it's the same with hiring in our businesses.

1. Don’t expect perfection

You can’t live in a fantasy world where everything is rainbows and roses thinking all of a sudden someone is just going to present themselves to you and they’re going to be perfect and wonderful and never do anything wrong, and you’ll never do anything wrong, and they’re going to always know what they’re supposed to do and life is going to be perfect.

We have to realize that life and business and working with people takes a little work. The key is having some really good processes in place for when things don't work out. 

I think we spend a lot of time trying to create great processes for making things work, and we forget to create a good process for handling the times when things don’t work, which results in massive time waste.

2. Only hire your ideal client

You want to strive to only work with people that really love what you do, what you stand for, and how everything works in your business.

If they aren’t passionate about your business then how are they going to be passionate about their job?

Even if they’re only working a few hours per week, how are they going to be committed fully if they don’t care about what you’re doing?

3. Ask your team to help you define roles and processes

The best way to let a team member own their role in your business is to let them own their role! Explain what ultimately needs to happen, but then ask them to write out their true job description, what they want to do, how they can best go about executing their role, and where they want to go within your business.

The key to being a good boss is the same key to growing a thriving community - people just want to feel like they are valued and heard, cared about and for.

You don’t have to have all the answers. Allow them the space to create and innovate, and you can fill in the blanks.

It’s often easier to edit what you don’t like or doesn’t work than for you to start from scratch yourself. We often don’t know what we want or don’t want until we see it.

Also, for technical processes you can record a video of yourself walking through the process you need your team member to take over, then you can share it, review it together to make sure their aren’t any gaps in their understanding of their role or where they are wanting to go in your business.

4. Communicate like a crazy person

If something isn’t working - TELL THEM. If you’ve hired someone that gets really upset when you ask for tweaks and adjustments, you need to either reset expectations or that person isn’t going to work.

Most people are going to be totally on board with tweaking and adjusting so they can learn you and your brand better and get more efficient at their job.

Communication is key. Keep each other updated and let each other know what’s going on.

5. Assess often

You only want people doing things in your business that they absolutely love. Regularly check in to make sure they’re happy and fulfilled where they’re at and how they’d like to serve within your team.

Referenced in the Show:

(Just FYI, some of these links may be affiliate links, which means if you make a purchase using the links I may receive some love in return!)

Connect with Dana

We love hearing from you!

If you’ve got a question about today’s episode or want to leave us some inbox love, you can email us at hello@boss-mom.com. Or, you can always find Dana hanging out in her happy place, the Boss Mom Facebook Community. 

We would also LOVE it if you’d leave a podcast rating or review for us on iTunes! We know it can be kind of tricky to figure out, so here are a few step-by-step instructions on how to leave an iTunes rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad.

  1. Launch Apple’s Podcast app.
  2. Tap the Search tab.
  3. Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review.
  4. Tap the blue Search key at the bottom right.
  5. Tap the album art for the podcast.
  6. Tap the Reviews tab.
  7. Tap Write a Review at the bottom.
  8. Enter your iTunes password to login.
  9. Tap the Stars to leave a rating.
  10. Enter title text and content to leave a review.
  11. Tap Send.
Apr 27, 2017

Ok ladies, you are in for a real treat because this conversation I had with Tonya Dalton, the Founder and CEO of inkWELL Press, was seriously amazing.

Tonya started her first business as a SAHM in 2009 and by 2011, her husband was able to leave corporate America to work alongside her.

Late in 2014 she decided to follow her true passion - inkWELL Press which has grown at a rapid pace thanks to their commitment to quality and fiercely loyal fans. 

I knew pretty much instantaneously that Tonya was my soul sister. The way she thinks is so in line with the way I think and we had an absolute blast, not just talking about planners and building businesses, but ultimately about productivity. We talked about how to be effective and efficient, about changing things when you’re not happy, and so many other things that so many of us boss moms go through.

She is an absolute joy and treasure, I know you’re going to fall madly in love with her (because how couldn’t you?!) So I’m not going to deprive you of her awesomeness any further. Lets hop in and hang out with Tonya.

Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher

     

Tonya's Boss Mom Journey

Several years ago Tonya was one of those moms that thought she would just start a little side business that would be fun for her. Her husband was working in marketing at large Fortune 500 companies, traveling the world and gone for 3-4 weeks at a time. 

One night while he was traveling and they were talking on the phone Tonya mentioned a new phrase their young daughter had said that day, and her husband got really quiet then said, “I’m missing everything.”

This broke Tonya's heart, and in that moment her life changed. She decided she was going to turn her little side business into a full-time gig and make it so that she and her husband could be home working on that business together.

She sat down, got out a notebook and wrote down everything she could think of to build her business and boost her productivity, since she was obviously still a mom with 2 kids to raise with a husband who traveled a lot.

Tonya mapped out a business plan and got to work! Within a year her husband quit his corporate job and came to work with her. The business had grown enough to sustain their life, pay the bills and they loved working together.....and as they worked alongside each other, the business grew even more.

Like so many before her though, she got to a point a few years in where she realized she was losing her enthusiasm for what she was doing because that little side business wasn't born out of her passions - it was always just intended to be something fun.

After sharing her heart with her husband from a place of honesty and transparency, he was totally on board with sitting down and coming up with an alternative plan. They decided to close down that first business, even though it was successful, so Tonya could really follow her passion and purpose.

What she learned was that she was really passionate about three things: teaching, organization and productivity, and empowering women. She had to figure out what to create that would pull together all 3 of those passions, and from that Inkwell Press was born.

After closing that first business they took a big risk to build their new business, living with no income for 7 months, and today she says it was all worth it. Now she gets to work with her husband on a business they absolutely love and wake up every day fulfilled in walking out her purpose.

The Power of Planning

One of the biggest things Tonya says helped her build her business was having an organized mind and doing the planning....figuring out her "roadmap" if you will.

She shared a great analogy about how you can get into the car and have the idea that you're going to drive across the country, but if you don't have a map or GPS you don't ultimately know where you'll end up!

So Tonya focused intently on creating a map for herself, that way as she continued to move forward she knew what the next steps were going to be and she could anticipate things.

When you know where you're going and have a map for how to get there, even when you need to make inevitable adjustments (hello detours and construction work!) you are still able to veer back onto the right path because you know your end destination.

The other thing that has really helped her as she has built her business is being able to hone in on how to best spend her time.

“Productivity isn’t about getting more things done in a day, it’s about focusing in on the things you really want to focus in on, the things that are important to you, and finding these pockets of time by getting rid of the other stuff.” (11:33)

True productivity is about focusing on that one thing that really matters that will move the needle forward the most for you in the direction of your goals.

On Busy, Hustle and Balance

At this point in the conversation we start talking a little bit of trash about some common jargon many people use today, and explore how using these words can hold us back.

The first word up: busy. Tonya says she is not a fan and tries not to use the word because at the end of the day, busy doesn't always mean productive or happy. It just means busy. One of her big platforms is to stop the glorification of busy, and trade it in for productivity.

She says busy just means you’re scattering yourself in all different directions. Productive means you’re going in the direction that you want to go in and doing the right things to get there.

Think how often you ask people how they are and they reply “busy.” Busy isn’t a state of being, it’s a verb. It’s filling up your time with a lot of things.

Then we shifted into discussing the world "hustle" which Tonya says segues right into busy because it's about always moving and always doing.

“It’s okay to stop moving and have white space our lives because the white space is where we grow and that’s really where we can dedicate the time to where we need to go.” (14:22)

Lastly (and we SO have the same belief about this) Tonya thinks the idea of balance in life and work is total bogus. She says there are 3 areas that make up our life: personal, home and work, and it's all about finding harmony in these areas.

Tonya believes that using the idea of "balance" makes it sound like each area needs to be even - which isn’t feasible, realistic or healthy! To really move towards a big goal in any direction there has to be imbalance.

You have to spend more time on something if you’re really wanting it to grow. So the key is to find how you can get all 3 areas of your life to work together to create harmony, which will add to your happiness with life.

The Challenge of Decision-Making

A really common struggle today is that people want to do all the things, really well, and right now. When we don't have a clear focus, we won't have a clear understanding of what we need to say yes to or what we need to say no to. All of this leads to us to being indecisive, or making poor choices when we do finally decide.

“Everyone thinks you need to add in order to grow, and it’s really the opposite. You need to cut in order to grow.” (19:30)

She suggests figuring out the one thing you want to focus on, your key product or offering, and building around that once you feel like it’s gotten established. That, she says, is how growth happens.

From a marketing perspective, focusing in this way will also allow you to know exactly what you’re going to tell people about. And your focused message can be tailored and adjusted so it's applicable depending on your audience.

If your products and offerings are all based off your core mission, it really allows you to grow at a steady pace.

Tonya says that all of her products at inkWELL Press go through a rigorous questioning process to make sure it aligns with their overarching mission. If it doesn’t fulfill their mission, they don’t offer it (even if people are asking for it!)

Growing Pains & Season of Change

When Tonya first started inkWELL Press organization was the thing she thought was her cornerstone and what she wanted to focus in on. Eventually she started to realize as she was growing and moving forward that her focus really needed to be about productivity.

She believes that if you’re really organized it won't necessarily translate into productivity because a lot of people use organization as a way to procrastinate.

“If you’re productive, organization naturally follows.” (22:58)

So she changed her focus from organization to productivity and agrees with my philosophy that you find clarity by doing. You find it as you work, if you're open to seeing it and grabbing hold of it.

It’s really about knowing where you want to go and where you want to spend your time, in the ways that matter most to you.

Productivity is very personal and needs to be customized and tailored to you, Tonya says. It requires clarity, cutting through the clutter and focusing on the things that are important to you.

We also discuss the importance of having a business plan that can act as your decision-support to help you figure out your purpose, gift, the future you want to create, the environment you want to live in, what will you say yes and no to, etc.

People often avoid answering these questions because it feels uncomfortable, but Tonya is a believer in growth coming from outside our comfort zones.

"The first step of any process, whether it’s developing a business plan or doing your goal setting is reflection.”  (25:49)

And she says reflection isn't always easy - it can be tough work! You have to be willing to peel back the layers, get honest and vulnerable - with yourself and others.

It might feel like there are parts of you that you don’t want to explore or talk about, but those are the parts that you’re really going to grow from and that make you beautiful in who you’ve become.

You all know I love brainstorming, and often say "If brainstorming isn't uncomfortable then you’re just making a list.” (26:38)

But do you just want to just make a list or do you want to come up with actual answers, content, things, ideas that are really going to make a difference?

“Until you get lost, you can’t explore.” (27:27)

Making inkWELL Press Great

Over the years inkWELL Press has experienced a ton of growth and Tonya is sharing some behind the scenes insights into how she approaches her business.

"I really believe there can be a happy marriage between form and function, but I do believe that function comes first.” (35:52)

Tonya starts every new project by sketching out the layout and elements she thinks are important. She intentionally puts things in her planners that she feels are vital for productivity (goal setting, habit trackers, focus points, etc.

She also works completely in tandem with her husband on every single page! She says the most important thing is that each of their products is created to be functional and customizable so it will work for you.

By approaching their creation process with the end in mind - helping people get organized and be productive, they've been able to give people what they need and want and grow a thriving business with integrity.

To Tonya it's all about making her customers feel successful at the end of the day....and making her products pretty is a fun bonus.

She wants every product she creates to be something people will be excited to pull out every day so it becomes a ritual or habit. She believes if you start doing your planning on a regular basis you will see a difference in your life!

Referenced in the Show:

(Just FYI, some of these links may be affiliate links, which means if you make a purchase using the links I may receive some love in return!)

Sponsor Spotlight: Trello

Have you been introduced you to what I call my “work wife” yet? If not, let me make the introduction. Meet Trello – the magical unicorn of amazingness that allows me to run my life, business and team with ease without completely and totally losing my mind (what’s left of it anyway).

I believe every person with a life, home and business needs an awesome (and free!) place to manage their projects, schedules, homes and teams and keep everything important in their lives in one central spot that can be revisited time and time again while giving access to anyone else that needs it.

I love and believe in Trello so much that I created a super amazing, in-depth (free!) training that gives you a behind-the-scenes look into how exactly I use Trello to keep everything working like a well-oiled machine. Check it out here. I promise your life will never be the same.

Connect with Dana & Tonya

We love hearing from you!

If you’ve got a question about today’s episode or want to leave us some inbox love, you can email us at hello@boss-mom.com. Or, you can always find Dana hanging out in her happy place, the Boss Mom Facebook Community. 

We would also LOVE it if you’d leave a podcast rating or review for us on iTunes! We know it can be kind of tricky to figure out, so here are a few step-by-step instructions on how to leave an iTunes rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad.

  1. Launch Apple’s Podcast app.
  2. Tap the Search tab.
  3. Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review.
  4. Tap the blue Search key at the bottom right.
  5. Tap the album art for the podcast.
  6. Tap the Reviews tab.
  7. Tap Write a Review at the bottom.
  8. Enter your iTunes password to login.
  9. Tap the Stars to leave a rating.
  10. Enter title text and content to leave a review.
  11. Tap Send.
Apr 25, 2017

One of the biggest things that can often trip business owners up, especially those who are just starting out or who are thinking about started something new, is uncertainty surrounding how qualified they are to do whatever it is they are thinking about doing.

How can we know if we are expert enough? What are the criteria we should use to decide if we're really ready to start the next thing? Do we have actually enough experience and clout and value?

All of these are really common questions, which is why NJ and I are going to dive into cracking this nut so you can build confidence and move forward with decisive clarity when these kinds of questions pop into your head.

Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher

Here's the deal: every entrepreneur at some point or another will most likely experience doubt surrounding whether or not they are qualified to be doing what they're doing.

It is one of the most limiting mindset beliefs one can hold as an entrepreneur, and will hold you back from being successful because it keeps you from being decisive.

If you’re scared that you don’t have enough value, then you’re not going to ask and you’re not going to make decisions, therefore things just aren't going to happen. When we allow this to happen, our lack of success isn't ultimately because we weren't expert enough....it's because we allowed ourselves to be indecisive and not do anything.

So bottom line: don't let your mindset keep you from DOING!

How to Know if You're Expert Enough

There are two things we often get worried about:

1) We question our expertise thinking we need to learn everything there is to know about something before acknowledging the value of what we have to give

2) We are scared to do things because we don't yet know how to do them

With regard to the first point, you have to decide for yourself how much learning and experience and expertise is enough to do what needs done? And you also need to recognize that ongoing education and refining of your expertise should always happen.

With regard to the second point, we can't let ourselves get stuck in a catch 22 of never doing something because we're afraid since we haven't done it before, which leads to us never starting, and continuing the cycle of never doing anything. You'll never be an expert in an area until you've actually done it!

If you want to be perceived as the expert that you really are about something, you need to own the belief that you know more about something than someone else, therefore you're able to speak about it with intelligence and authority. If you can do that, you've got something!

The Power of Positioning

Part of establishing yourself as an expert is learning how to position yourself as an expert. This involves strategic visibility and positioning of your knowledge.

You need to figure out where people are on the spectrum of your knowledge, and as long as there are people behind you on that spectrum you'll always have something to teach.

However, from the perspective of the life cycle of your ideal client, you want to position yourself so that you can be their expert for as long as possible. So start teaching several levels behind you if possible.

The Power of Influence

Something that's important when establishing yourself as an expert in a certain area is having a person with greater expertise than you in your close sphere of influence, like a coach or a mentor. Their knowledge will seep down to you which you’ll be able to take, own and trickle down to your people.

Having other people who are just one or two steps ahead of you, or even right where you are but with different experience and perspective, is also important. These can be your biz besties, accountability partners, mastermind members, etc.

Having people in your life like this can help you sift through your thoughts, ideas, concerns and fears to determine which may be valid and which aren't. These people will add value to your life and business by helping you build confidence.

Things to Remember

The bottom line is this: you need to know there is room for you at the table. Don't fall into the trap of comparing where you're at with where someone else is in a different point of their journey.

Start with what you've got and build from there. If you do that, and are decisive about it along the way, success won't be far off.

Referenced in the Show:

(Just FYI, some of these links may be affiliate links, which means if you make a purchase using the links I may receive some love in return!)

Sponsor Spotlight: Thinkific

You all know just how much I love online courses and think that anyone with knowledge or expertise in an area should take that knowledge and turn it into a resource to share with others.

That’s why I’m SO pumped to share Thinkific with you, the online course platform that I use and love for all Boss Mom courses.

Thinkific is dedicated to helping businesses grow through online education, and helping you easily create, market and sell online courses. This easy to use, all-inclusive resource will change your life – seriously.

Go check out boss-mom.com/thinkific to learn more and try Thinkific FREE for 1 month.

Connect with Dana & NJ

We love hearing from you!

If you’ve got a question about today’s episode or want to leave us some inbox love, you can email us at hello@boss-mom.com. Or, you can always find Dana hanging out in her happy place, the Boss Mom Facebook Community. 

We would also LOVE it if you’d leave a podcast rating or review for us on iTunes! We know it can be kind of tricky to figure out, so here are a few step-by-step instructions on how to leave an iTunes rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad.

  1. Launch Apple’s Podcast app.
  2. Tap the Search tab.
  3. Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review.
  4. Tap the blue Search key at the bottom right.
  5. Tap the album art for the podcast.
  6. Tap the Reviews tab.
  7. Tap Write a Review at the bottom.
  8. Enter your iTunes password to login.
  9. Tap the Stars to leave a rating.
  10. Enter title text and content to leave a review.
  11. Tap Send.
Apr 21, 2017

I want to talk to you today about questions....beautiful, amazing, glorious questions. The questions we ask of both ourselves and other people can literally change the way we think, experience, perceive, act, connect and engage. But.....are we asking the right ones?

Recently I attended the first part of a certification training I'm going through this year in appreciative inquiry called Leading with Experiential Appreciative Facilitation. This training is run by the amazing Jon Berghoff and the Flourishing Leadership Institute, based on the amazing work of Dr. David Cooperrider and has literally rocked my entire world (seriously, click the play button on this episode because you'll hear me get truly giddy!)

Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher

Ok, as I mentioned, I've become completely obsessed with diving into appreciative inquiry, so you're going to be seeing a lot more of it infused into everything I do....especially in the Boss Mom Retreat happening later this year in NC ;)

Appreciative inquiry is truly an introduction into how to have better questions when designing group spaces, summits, retreats, meetings, etc.

What AI does is it flips the way we talk about things from being focused on addressing the failures, challenges, and things we need to fix to focusing on recognizing, maximizing and leveraging the strengths.

What I've learned is that if we only focus on the problems, challenges or obstacles and finding a fix for those, we will only ever help get people back to a neutral point, where they don't feel broken anymore. But what if we could take them beyond that point??

A quote that has been completely rocking my world lately is this:

“The task of leadership is to create an alignment of strengths, making the system’s weaknesses irrelevant.” - Peter Drucker

Leading for the future is all about strengths. If we focus on our strengths, on our aspirations, on where we want to go, and what we’ve just done to get ourselves to where we are so far, what would the world look like? What would our businesses and lives look like? Can you picture it?

So how can we do that? Well, we need to reframe the way we think about the questions we ask.

Oftentimes we will default to asking the questions that are easy, the ones everyone is always asking. But might it mean so much more if we actually stopped to really think about the questions we're asking, how they'll land and what kind of feedback or response they might produce?

I'd challenge you to start asking yourself the following questions anytime you are posing a question to someone:

  • Am I asking questions because I really care and wanting to know or understand more?
  • Am I asking this question because I think I should ask it?
  • Am I asking the questions that really need to be asked?

We’ve gotta start digging deeper into the words we use. Are we speaking to people from their strengths? Are we helping people to see their future, what they want, what their dream will be?

When we do this, it opens up this beautiful positive emotional attractor component of your brain that gets people thinking bigger, broader, and in a way that gets them past that neutral point and into this amazing space where they truly believe anything is possible.

Which is totally where we want our kids to be, right? It starts with the questions we ask.

Now, let’s get tactical to figure out how to actually go about knowing the right questions to ask and how to approach asking questions in our lives and businesses.

1. Determine where you are already asking questions in your business.

Are you asking questions in surveys, calls to action, Facebook groups, intake forms, coursework, sales calls, webinars, Facebook ads, etc?

2. Assess the kinds of questions you're asking.

Are you questions framed from the positive or the negative? Are you addressing someone's challenges, obstacles, problems or weaknesses? Our questions are meant to illicit response, and if you phrase them right, you'll get the kind of feedback that's really valuable.

Here's a great personal example to get your wheels turning.

I still have an email in my nurture sequence that I need to go back and change because I ask “What is your biggest challenge?” and rarely get responses. I'm convinced that's because it's vague and it’s framed from the negative perspective.

Now all of a sudden the reader is thinking about their biggest challenge. Maybe they don’t even know what their biggest challenge is, but now I’ve just got them thinking about 10 things that aren’t going right for them.

Maybe I can go and help them now, but holy moly - I don’t want to be the one that puts them in that negative space!

Instead I’d love to ask a question like, “What moment can you remember of having a business and having a baby where you felt like you came alive? That you were really doing what you were meant to do and showing your children, even if they didn't understand it, that what you were doing was important?”

I want women thinking about what they’re doing right more than what they’re doing wrong. I want our weaknesses to be irrelevant!

I want us to be getting support from each other, and thinking so much about what we’re doing right and how to do more of that that it overshadows our weaknesses so they are irrelevant. I want to live in a world where that happens.

3. Change your questions.

You have the power to change your approach to the questions you're asking! Figure out how you can make the switch from trying to fix problems and put out fires to how you can leverage and maximize people’s strengths.

Referenced in the Show:

(Just FYI, some of these links may be affiliate links, which means if you make a purchase using the links I may receive some love in return!)

Sponsor Spotlight: Boss Mom Retreat

It's coming ladies. Do you have your ticket yet?? If not, and you're still on the fence, let me tell you just a little bit about the amazingness that will be happening in Charlotte, North Carolina later this year....

Think two days filled to the brim with amazing community, tons of time to gain clarity and work ON your business alongside tons of other badass boss moms, yummy food and drinks, a gorgeous event space, and.....YES, there will be a karaoke dance party. (Do I have you excited now?!)

We are already 1/3 of the way to being sold out, so don't wait too long....grab your ticket today at boss-mom.com/retreat.

Connect with Dana

We love hearing from you!

If you’ve got a question about today’s episode or want to leave us some inbox love, you can email us at hello@boss-mom.com. Or, you can always find Dana hanging out in her happy place, the Boss Mom Facebook Community. 

We would also LOVE it if you’d leave a podcast rating or review for us on iTunes! We know it can be kind of tricky to figure out, so here are a few step-by-step instructions on how to leave an iTunes rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad.

  1. Launch Apple’s Podcast app.
  2. Tap the Search tab.
  3. Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review.
  4. Tap the blue Search key at the bottom right.
  5. Tap the album art for the podcast.
  6. Tap the Reviews tab.
  7. Tap Write a Review at the bottom.
  8. Enter your iTunes password to login.
  9. Tap the Stars to leave a rating.
  10. Enter title text and content to leave a review.
  11. Tap Send.
Apr 20, 2017

As moms and entrepreneurs it can be a real challenge to prioritize our health and self care. But as you know, everything begins to fall apart when we don't!

Shivani Gupta is a mother, entrepreneur, educator and healer with a huge passion for helping learn how to take better care of themselves through a holistic, Ayurvedic approach to health and wellness.

As the founder of Fusionary Formulas, a line of supplements that bridges the gap between Ayurvedic and modern medicine, Shivani remains committed to bettering the lives of others, which you will see is totally evident throughout our discussion in this episode.

If you want to be a healthy person, if you care about what you put into your body, your immunity, your energy, how you feel, and how you can show up to be a better you mother, wife. entrepreneur, etc then you're going to love this one.

Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher

 

Shivani's Boss Mom Journey

Ever since Shivani was a child she's been obsessed with health. Her father was a health nut, so he always showed up at people’s homes with green juice and vitamins and said, “Here you go, this is how you’re going to fix the cold or sickness you have going on.”

Shivani believes she inherited that from him, because she'll show up on the doorstep of anyone she hears complain about feeling sick with ziplock bags of herbs and spices and whatever else she thinks they should be doing.

She also always knew she wanted to be a business owner because her parents were really fantastic entrepreneurs, and so over the years she has had several businesses.

One was an organic cotton children’s clothing line that was carried in Whole Foods. Then she started a green blog called “Greenista”, and after that a marketing company that helped small businesses with marketing a branding.

Finally an opportunity came her way to launch a supplement company in Ayurveda and, she happened to be working on her PhD in Ayurveda at the time, so it was the perfect fit and time. She decided to pair her skillset - finding complex things and simplifying them into a very usable way - with her passion for health and wellness, and launched Fusionary Formulas to educate people in health, wellness, Ayurveda, and these "super spicesandh herbs" that they can use in their daily lives.

What is Ayurveda?

Shivani explains that Ayurveda is an ancient system of medicine from India that’s over 5,000 years old. Ayurveda actually means "science of life."

It heavily emphasizes the mind-body connection and focuses not just on treating illness and disease, but actually preventing them.

As Shivani learned more about it she thought, “If people just understood what Ayurveda had to offer and how powerful it was for preventing disease and preventing issues, they would be on board with this.”

Where Does Someone Begin with Ayurveda?

Shivani explains that Ayurveda encompasses many different modalities.

  • There’s the nutrition component that covers food combinations and what to eat or not eat.
  • There’s a detoxification ritual that teaches you how to detox and cleanse the body once a year to prevent disease
  • There’s this concept of doshas which is all about uncovering your individual body constitution, which helps you best support your unique body type
  • There’s also an herbs and spices component and learning all about what they can do for your overall health (turmeric, cardamom, paprika, cumin, and fennel are a few examples) 

Shivani has chosen to focus on what she calls the "best three" areas to make it as simple and easy to integrate into our fast-paced, non-intuitive, Western way of living.

The three areas are: super spices and herbs, daily self care rituals and learning to adjust your lifestyle to what your body demands so instead of being so stressed out all the time and allowing stress to impact the body negatively, you’re better supported.

"I feel like as moms we are high stress, high speed, high volume, trying to get through life and do everything. I just want to prevent stuff from coming down the road because I chose to be high paced in my 30s and 40s."

Why Variety & Seasonal Eating is Important

I had my mind totally blown when Shivani let me know that we actually aren't supposed to eat the same foods all year round. She speaks heavily to the importance of ensuring a broad variety in your diet and making sure to eat things that are in season to best support your body's systems.

She also shares a story about a woman she once met who had chronic hives and was eating healthy, so couldn't figure out what was causing her issue. It turns out she was eating things that were exacerbating her unique body constitution AND out of season, causing her body to react negatively to the "health" food she was consuming!

Practicing What You Preach & Prioritizing Self Care

Something I loved hearing in this conversation was how Shivani described her own personal journey with health, which can be a lot trickier and harder than just being passionate about learning and teaching it.

She describes where she was at just last year - going 100 miles per hour working on a huge event for her company, trying to be supermom keeping up with all her kids activities, being a good wife and trying to feed everyone healthfully (since she was totally obsessed!)

After the event she looked at photos of herself and thought, "That is not me! I don’t know who that is, but that is not me!” She was in disbelief that she'd allowed herself to get to that point, and knew she couldn't go on calling it "baby weight" forever.

She decided to take her own advice and really put self care first. And she says that once she did that, everything started to change! She made her personal workouts top priority, above anything else (including her children's activities!)

Her brain moved faster, which meant she moved faster, all of which benefited her business and life in tremendous ways. Everything started to click into place.

For those of you who are interested in what exactly she did to drop 8 dress sizes in just 8 months, she mentions using three Fusionary Formulas supplements every single day: Elite Athlete, Weight Loss Formula and Turmeric Gold.

The coolest part, she says, is now that she's proven to herself how powerful embracing this lifestyle is, she is even more fueled with passion to share her message.

She also mentions that one reason she believes she's been successful in the personal health department is by establishing "laws" for herself....for example, she never eats sour cream. Since that's a law for her, she doesn't ever break it.

The Difference Between Intuition & Bad Habits

Another unique point in our conversation came when I asked if Shivani thought that maybe we sometimes crave things our bodies actually need.

She completely agreed that our bodies were made to flourish when we rely on our innate intuition. But, the problem she says, is that people have gotten very far off from their intuitive selves.

Thinking you’ve had a bad day and need a glass of wine or plate of nachos isn’t intuition - it's being ruled by bad habits and using food as a crutch for dealing with stress.

This led to us both agreeing that, as parents and entrepreneurs, we often use crutches even more than the average person, and to make ourselves feel better about our poor diet and lifestyle choices (daily wine and coffee habits anyone??) we've collectively made it an acceptable thing.

Obviously there needs to be room for grace and acknowledgment of certain seasons of life (the newborn days, for example) but eventually we all have to take personal responsibility and choose better.

We need to learn how to replace our bad habits, replace our crutches with things that are actually good and actually work.

What Makes Fusionary Formulas Better than Others (& Why You Need Supplements)

Shivani is both modest and humble about her supplement line, but equally enthusiastic about how amazing it is.

She begins by explaining that the supplement industry is far less regulated than one would think, and people can often get away with doing or saying whatever they way....which means it's critically important to understand what you've investing in and putting in your body!

Shivani uses a factory right here in the US, which is owned by a physician, and has chosen really high quality herbs that come from only medical grade suppliers. This ensures you can feel totally confident in the product you're investing in.

She also has a really well-rounded approach to supplement use, which is nice for people like me who don't really use them ever.

Her thought is that proactive health means finding the perfect combination of exercise, nutrition and supplements that will support your body. Supplements are supposed to work alongside everything else to give you what you need.

How to Get Back to Calm When You Feel Overwhelmed

Overwhelm is an inevitable place we sometimes reach as boss moms, which is why I loved hearing Shivani share what her approach to overwhelm is in her life.

She has learned that when she starts to feel overwhelmed, she begins to shut down. So, she quickly starts making adjustments, taking things off her list, relying on outside help and giving herself downtime. 

She'll also give her immune system a boost by increasing her supplement intake, staying extra hydrated and getting enough rest.

Referenced in the Show:

(Just FYI, some of these links may be affiliate links, which means if you make a purchase using the links I may receive some love in return!)

Connect with Dana & Shivani

We love hearing from you!

If you’ve got a question about today’s episode or want to leave us some inbox love, you can email us at hello@boss-mom.com. Or, you can always find Dana hanging out in her happy place, the Boss Mom Facebook Community. 

We would also LOVE it if you’d leave a podcast rating or review for us on iTunes! We know it can be kind of tricky to figure out, so here are a few step-by-step instructions on how to leave an iTunes rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad.

  1. Launch Apple’s Podcast app.
  2. Tap the Search tab.
  3. Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review.
  4. Tap the blue Search key at the bottom right.
  5. Tap the album art for the podcast.
  6. Tap the Reviews tab.
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  9. Tap the Stars to leave a rating.
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Apr 20, 2017

I get asked pretty often about how exactly to go about effectively launching something the right way. In case you haven't noticed, launching (like sales funnels) is kind of a big deal these days.

If you have an online business and create something that you want to sell successfully online, having an effective launching strategy and plan is a must.

But where should you begin? In this episode NJ and I are diving in to discuss what launching means, what purpose it serves and some best practices for ensuring you set yourself up for success during your next launch.

Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher

Someone asked me recently to talk about how to execute a soft launch, and the way they described it was "the kind of launch nobody knows about." I'll be honest, this confused me.

When we're talking about launching, it's important to understand that you want people to know about your launch - it's kind of the whole point!

Now, this person could have been talking about a beta launch or a pre-launch that was geared toward only a small segment of people, which is a different scenario than a full, big launch.

But the bottom line is this - you NEED people to know about your launch in order for it to be successful, otherwise you're wasting your time and leaving money on the table.

Oftentimes I think we lie to ourselves when it comes to launching. The idea of doing a big launch is scary! It takes guts, a ton of work and probably some monetary investment (after all, usually it takes money to make money.)

When we let fear drive our business decisions, we'll tell ourselves lies about doing a "soft launch" instead of a big one to test things out and make sure they work.

But the truth is, if you want to make money in your business, you have to push past that fear, do the work, and make a launch happen. It WILL be a lot of work. But if done correctly (or even just mostly correctly) you'll hands down make more money than keeping your launch a secret.

If you are going to do a "soft launch" (to a beta group or small segment of people without much buzz) it has to be part of a strategy to build up to a big launch.

The #1 Key to a Successful Launch

We are going to let you in on a big secret (that you probably already know!) If you want to launch something you have to plan for it!

An effective launch will have a lot of moving parts that need to be executed in a particular order. The creation part of whatever your offering is....that's the easy part. 

Figuring out how to effectively market and sell your offering to the right people in the right way.....that's the challenge, and it's a challenge you want to prepare for well!

Pro Tip: When you have a good understanding of what you're good at, what you're not, what you enjoy and what you don't, you can make better decisions about hiring or bartering for help so you're not left spinning your wheels, wasting time and money to execute your launch.

You Need a Funnel to Launch

Ok, I will forewarn you....at this point in the episode things start to get a little crazy as we try to describe just why we love a good funnel so much (so you'll most definitely want to listen and not just read these notes!)

But here's our central point in summary: the point of a launch is to bring awareness to what you're doing while infusing some excitement, scarcity and intrigue, and a funnel is how you do just that.

You can have a funnel without a launch, but you can't have a solid launch without a good funnel in place.

Pro Tip: Don't ever throw money at Facebook ads if you don't have your funnel set up!

What Goes into a Launch

There are lots of moving pieces and projects that go into a launch, but here are the few keys that you want to make sure to cover.

  1. Know who you're launching to: you want to make sure you know exactly who your ideal client is so you can be engaging with them and understand how to speak their language
  2. Plan and create a killer sales funnel: to do this you need to work backwards from your offering to create a journey that you'll lead your ideal client down so their nurtured and primed to convert into a paying customer
  3. Map out your timeline: to make sure you have enough time to carry out your launch well, we recommend allowing a minimum of 3-4 month to plan and execute

Referenced in the Show:

(Just FYI, some of these links may be affiliate links, which means if you make a purchase using the links I may receive some love in return!)

Sponsor Spotlight: Trello

Have you been introduced you to what I call my "work wife" yet? If not, let me make the introduction. Meet Trello - the magical unicorn of amazingness that allows me to run my life, business and team with ease without completely and totally losing my mind (what's left of it anyway).

I believe every person with a life, home and business needs an awesome (and free!) place to manage their projects, schedules, homes and teams and keep everything important in their lives in one central spot that can be revisited time and time again while giving access to anyone else that needs it.

I love and believe in Trello so much that I created a super amazing, in-depth (free!) training that gives you a behind-the-scenes look into how exactly I use Trello to keep everything working like a well-oiled machine. Check it out here. I promise your life will never be the same.

Connect with Dana & NJ

We love hearing from you!

If you’ve got a question about today’s episode or want to leave us some inbox love, you can email us at hello@boss-mom.com. Or, you can always find Dana hanging out in her happy place, the Boss Mom Facebook Community. 

We would also LOVE it if you’d leave a podcast rating or review for us on iTunes! We know it can be kind of tricky to figure out, so here are a few step-by-step instructions on how to leave an iTunes rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad.

  1. Launch Apple’s Podcast app.
  2. Tap the Search tab.
  3. Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review.
  4. Tap the blue Search key at the bottom right.
  5. Tap the album art for the podcast.
  6. Tap the Reviews tab.
  7. Tap Write a Review at the bottom.
  8. Enter your iTunes password to login.
  9. Tap the Stars to leave a rating.
  10. Enter title text and content to leave a review.
  11. Tap Send.
Apr 14, 2017

So today we're doing something a little different for this Nurture Your Business segment. I've invited my real life and business best friend, Dawn Marrs (who is a total sales funnel QUEEN) to join us for a conversation all about the purpose and psychology behind sales funnels and you do NOT want to miss it!! (Disclaimer: there may have been a couple glasses bottles of wine involved in this one.....)

Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher

In case you haven't noticed, sales funnels are kind of all the rage right now. I think they've become so popular because 1) everyone is yearning for passive income and 2) everyone recognizes the importance of community and nurturing people in business, and creating a sales funnel helps bring people into and through your business in a way that makes sense.

The struggle is that sales funnels can be pretty darn overwhelming. Many people never successfully create a funnel because they get so intimidated by the action creation process. Then they miss out on the opportunity to have a system working passively in the background, bringing in money 24/7 while they're sleeping or at the beach.

Questions like, "What should my opt-in be? What should I say on my thank you page? What's my first email going to say? What tool do I use to deliver my opt-in? How do I upsell? How do I get their credit card info? What happens after they pay me? What happens if they cancel?" can keep our brains totally stuck spinning round, and round, and round....

And the truth is - the strategy, psychology and tech behind sales funnels CAN be overwhelming. But there are things you can do to make it less overwhelming - and once you've done it, you're golden.

1. Know where you're taking people

Bottom line, if you don't know where you want people to go, then how the heck are you going to get them there? You have to know what outcome you're offering people and where you want them to end up in order to effectively lead them there. Knowing your end destination is half the battle.

2. Understand that there is nothing new under the sun

Sales funnels are all very similar. We all, to some degree, follow the same path and psychology when it comes to  selling and creating a sales journey. Don't let feeling like there are tons of other people doing exactly what you're doing stop you from bringing YOU to the table.

3. Find the gaps and fill them

An effective sales funnel is all about finding gaps and filling them. Once you know where you're leading people, you can break it down to give them a perfect entry point (your opt-in). You want them to say, "Yes! This is exactly what I needed....but I wish it was easier." To which your response is to fill that gap.

It's all about anticipating needs, giving enough to fill one gap, and being ready to fill subsequent gaps until you've lead them fully through the extent to which you can serve them. Make people's lives easier and better, and they'll keep coming back for more!

It can be time consuming and mentally draining to figure out how to piece it all together at first. But when you combine a killer strategy with a killer system, magic happens (in the form of more money in your pocket!)

4. Learn from doing

So many people try to start out their businesses with a sales funnel in place already....but that often isn't completely realistic. If you're just starting out, it can be really difficult to know what your people need because you haven't gotten familiar enough with them yet.

The funnel can’t come first because you first have to get out in the world and DO in order to see what gaps there are and fill them. The clarity is in the doing. 

If your focus is consistently serving people and making an impact in their lives, get in there and DO it, which will lead to you fully grasping what the gaps are between where they are now and where they want to be. Find what's missing so you can step in and serve!

5. Master your content flow

Aside from identifying the gaps that need filled and building an actual system for your funnel, there is one more crucial component to sales funnel success.

The real mastery is in the content you create and how it flows from one piece to the next. Go back to what it is that your people need, break down your solutions as far as you can, map out how you can pour more into your offerings, then create content for each stage in your journey to lead them to a well-thought out, well-built funnel, effectively turning them from bystander, into raving fan, into grateful customer (how was that for a run-on sentence?!)

Ps....you don't have to do it alone!

No part of building your business has to be all by your lonesome! Come visit us in the Boss Moms Facebook group or in Dawn's Sales & Marketing Automation Facebook group and let us know where you're at with this.

Have you started your own funnel?

Where do you feel like you are in the process?

What questions do you have?

We will gladly support you through this process every step of the way.

Connect with Dana & Dawn

We love hearing from you!

If you’ve got a question about today’s episode or want to leave us some inbox love, you can email us at hello@boss-mom.com. Or, you can always find Dana hanging out in her happy place, the Boss Mom Facebook Community. 

We would also LOVE it if you’d leave a podcast rating or review for us on iTunes! We know it can be kind of tricky to figure out, so here are a few step-by-step instructions on how to leave an iTunes rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad.

  1. Launch Apple’s Podcast app.
  2. Tap the Search tab.
  3. Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review.
  4. Tap the blue Search key at the bottom right.
  5. Tap the album art for the podcast.
  6. Tap the Reviews tab.
  7. Tap Write a Review at the bottom.
  8. Enter your iTunes password to login.
  9. Tap the Stars to leave a rating.
  10. Enter title text and content to leave a review.
  11. Tap Send.
Apr 14, 2017

Raise your hand if you've ever felt like an imposter in your own life or business? Raise two hands if you've let those feelings keep you from stepping into the fullness of what you believe you were made to do? Yeah....you're not alone.

I work with amazing and incredible women every day who have so much to give, but who struggle to move past their own internal limitations and believe that what they have to offer is truly needed and valuable.

That's why I'm SO pumped to share this amazing conversation I had recently with none other than Tanya Geisler, a phenomenal Toronto-based leadership coach, TEDx speaker and writer who has taught thousands of leaders how to step into their starring roles and own their authority in their lives, their work, and in their life's work.

Specifically, Tanya explores the “Impostor Complex” (IC): a person’s inherent suspicion that their success is somehow undeserved and that they will eventually be exposed as a fluke or a fraud. The IC is chronic and impacts us all—particularly high-functioning achievers. The fear and doubt inherent in the IC confines us to a muted version of our best lives and keeps us from realizing our ideal selves.

And with that, let's dive right in....

Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher

Tanya's Boss Mom Journey

Before becoming a mama, Tanya had a successful career in advertising. After her mom died the same year her daughter was born, she abruptly realized just how short life was and over the next few years more deeply recognized it may be time to make changes to live her most authentic life.

She went back to work full time after her daughter turned one, but hated being apart from her so much. She often thought back on her mom's favorite mantra, "Don't postpone joy."

And so, she made a series of tough choices to leave her corporate career and start her own business. Though she describes experiencing countless trials, tribulations and calibrations, the reward was that she got to spend more time with her family and build a business that bring her an immense amount of joy.

How She Decided What to Do

When I asked Tanya how she decided what she was going to do after leaving her corporate job, and how what she started out doing has morphed into what it is now, she answered: I cried, sat on my hands and called in a bunch of people to help figure it out! (Sound familiar at all?!)

She'd never even heard of coaching until a friend of hers began doing it, and at that point she realized that she had a unique "thing" that she did for herself....and people kept coming to her for it.

As soon as she checked it ou and stepped into her coaching training, she recognized that this was what she'd been doing her whole life, and this was how she was going to step into her life's work. She could finally see herself the way others saw her, which propelled her forward in her life and work.

TEDx Talk: Imposter to Authority

A few years ago Tanya was invited to speak on owning your authority by TEDxWomen, dissecting the space in between what you see and what is real with regard to yourself.

She talks about encountering woman after woman who were skilled at internalizing failure, but incapable of internalizing success in the same way, which was keeping them stuck and never moving into the fullness of their potential.

"We’re never going to not experience bouts of fear, we’re never going to not experience bouts of the imposter complex when we are doing things that are deeply meaningful to us." (16:26)

What imposter complex is and what it's not

So what exactly is the difference between imposter complex that unjustly keeps us from going forward, and really, validly recognizing when maybe we aren't yet totally qualified to step into something and need more time, training, experience, etc?

Tanya shares that there are 12 lies of the imposter complex that you need to identify and call out in order to recognize how they may be holding you back.

But here's the reality, she says: there is always room for improvement, so you can't let that disqualify you from doing things. She also says that, typically, the people who are struggling with IC are driven by values of mastery, integrity and excellence....which true frauds are not.

Lie #4 of imposter complex will also convince you that you have nothing useful, valid or original to say. When we believe this, we stay silent and lie low.

What we have to remember is that there is nothing new under the sun. What people need, what people want, is what YOU have. You are what is different about what you do.

You also need to remember that, if you’re focused on expansion, evolving and moving forward, fear is a pretty good litmus test for how meaningful this next step is for you. If the step you’re looking at doesn’t rattle your imposter complex, it’s probably not what you were looking to step into.

Referenced in the Show:

(Just FYI, some of these links may be affiliate links, which means if you make a purchase using the links I may receive some love in return!)

Connect with Dana + Tanya

We love hearing from you!

If you’ve got a question about today’s episode or want to leave us some inbox love, you can email us at hello@boss-mom.com. Or, you can always find Dana hanging out in her happy place, the Boss Mom Facebook Community. 

We would also LOVE it if you’d leave a podcast rating or review for us on iTunes! We know it can be kind of tricky to figure out, so here are a few step-by-step instructions on how to leave an iTunes rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad.

  1. Launch Apple’s Podcast app.
  2. Tap the Search tab.
  3. Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review.
  4. Tap the blue Search key at the bottom right.
  5. Tap the album art for the podcast.
  6. Tap the Reviews tab.
  7. Tap Write a Review at the bottom.
  8. Enter your iTunes password to login.
  9. Tap the Stars to leave a rating.
  10. Enter title text and content to leave a review.
  11. Tap Send.
Apr 11, 2017

In the ever changing world of business we've seen lots of trends come and go. More recently a movement of mostly female entrepreneurs has emerged describing themselves as being "heart centered" - and we totally love the phrase

However, it seems like many people struggle with thinking that being heart centered and profitable in business are mutually exclusive. In this episode, NJ and I are digging into what it really means to be heart centered, and how you can do so without selling yourself or your business short.

Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher

Let's unpack what exactly heart centered IS about.....

The golden rule & paying it forward

In the beginning of our conversation NJ talks about how the way that she loves to infuse her heart into her business is by mentoring other women who are just starting out in a similar space that she did. She says it's to her to be generous with her knowledge in that way because she views it as "paying it forward" since someone invested in her freely when she was just starting.

To her, it's not a sacrifice to mentor these women, but a gift she enjoys giving that she knows makes a direct impact. This is how she feels most led to give of herself, and when it comes to her actual work - she never does it for free, because she has to earn a living!

When considering being "heart centered" you also want to remember that people and their knowledge and skills and passions are valuable, just like you and yours are, and it's important to treat others the way you want to be treated. (That means always being ready to pay people!)

Being generous is ways that actually make an impact

It can be easy for us to think that in order to be good people or business owners we need to give things away, when in reality, what makes us heart centered isn't simply the act of giving....but rather, being mindful of what and how we are giving.

Consider the actual impact of what you're thinking of giving someone. Will it really help them? Or could it possibly hinder their progress in their own life journey? Is it actually going to meet a need for them in a way that will move them forward?

There’s a reason why every single successful entrepreneur talks about how the journey is the important part, not necessarily the finish lines. Make sure that, in your attempts to be generous and "heart centered" you're not robbing someone else of their opportunity to get scrappy on behalf of their dreams and growth.

Being honest with yourself & others

Another part of being heart centered is being honest about where you’re at all the time - with both yourself and others! Don't say yes to things because you feel like you "should." Doing that wastes everyone's time.

Understand what will serve both you and others, then do more of that and less of anything else. Be honest about what is actually purposeful and what is just people-pleasing, guilt or obligation.

And now let's look at what heart centered IS NOT about....

Giving yourself away for free

When giving stuff away for free you have to consider what your long range objectives and end game are. There are tons of ways to be generous and heart centered without "ripping yourself off," as NJ put it.

Always weigh the cost of what you're considering giving away and whether there is a positive tradeoff in terms of your life and business.

You, your skills and your work are valuable - there is no rule anywhere that says you to be a good person you have to give yourself away for free!

Being a heart centered business owner isn't about giving yourself away for free....it's about bringing your best self to the table, at the service of others, and being driven to make other peoples' lives better by living yours the best way you can.

When you know and own your worth, others will reflect that back to you.

Making decisions from your heart

We want to wrap up by clearing up the misnomer that being heart centered means making decisions about your business from your heart. It doesn't mean you should make decisions based on what feels like you're giving from a place of love.

In order to be heart centered about who you serve, you have to be head centered and gut centered about how you're building your business so that you have the space and resources to use your heart when it makes sense.

Sponsor Spotlight: Thinkific

You all know just how much I love online courses and think that anyone with knowledge or expertise in an area should take that knowledge and turn it into a resource to share with others.

That’s why I’m SO pumped to share Thinkific with you, the online course platform that I use and love for all Boss Mom courses.

Thinkific is dedicated to helping businesses grow through online education, and helping you easily create, market and sell online courses. This easy to use, all-inclusive resource will change your life – seriously.

Go check out boss-mom.com/thinkific to learn more and try Thinkific FREE for 1 month.

Connect with Dana & NJ

We love hearing from you!

If you’ve got a question about today’s episode or want to leave us some inbox love, you can email us at hello@boss-mom.com. Or, you can always find Dana hanging out in her happy place, the Boss Mom Facebook Community. 

We would also LOVE it if you’d leave a podcast rating or review for us on iTunes! We know it can be kind of tricky to figure out, so here are a few step-by-step instructions on how to leave an iTunes rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad.

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Apr 7, 2017

Totally gotcha with the title, didn't I? I know...and it was completely intentional ;) In case you haven't noticed, over the past few years the 50 Shades of Gray books and movies have taken the world by storm - and for good reason! In terms of subject matter, they are pretty controversial, but clearly people have eaten it up.

Recently I had a conversation with a friend chatting about some interesting correlations I see between business and themes from the book/movie series and decided to dive into them from a business perspective to hopefully entertain you a little bit while imparting some serious golden nuggets.

Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher

A few lessons we can learn from 50 Shades of Gray that apply to business....

1. Everybody has a match

The truth is, no matter how crazy you think your freak flag is, someone else is secretly flying that same freak flag and is a great match for you. But if you never fly yours, how will they find you?

Don't ever stop being yourself or hide the true you away because you're afraid of what other people think or that they won't "get" you. I promise that their are people out there who will totally get you, and those are the people you want in your life and as part of your business.

The point isn't that you can be more helpful when you're being yourself (although that's true!) The point is that everyone has a match out there and when we are authentically ourselves, in life AND business, we will attract the right kinds of people for us.....even if it's kinky or strange ;)

2. Our past doesn't have to dictate our future

Just because something you did before totally tanked doesn't mean the next thing you're doing is going to totally tank! Case in point: I thought the first 50 Shades of Gray movie was completely awful. But things changed and evolved, and the second movie I absolutely loved.

It's the same in our businesses. Just because we produce something that fails or doesn't work as well as we were hoping, doesn't mean everything we're ever going to do will have the same result.

If we do it right, we learn from our mistakes, learn what didn't work, and move forward. We have to keep trying, keep going keep moving forward because we never know when the thing we make is going to totally explode and be amazing. Don’t let hiccups from the past keep you from building the next thing.

3. Know your audience

It's super obvious that the 50 Shades franchise has been so wildly successful because they knew what their audience wanted - to feel like they could relinquish control and have some of the weight of constant decision-making taken of their plates. Women everywhere dream of living a free, exciting, exhilarating life which is the kind of picture that was painted in these books and movies.

In business it's important to know who you're trying to reach, what they need and what they want. We need to know the trigger points that will draw people in, keep them excited and coming back for more time and time again. It's our job to paint a picture of the world they want to live in....and make it a possibility for them.

4. Make people's lives easier

From a business perspective what probably ALL people want at some point or another is freedom of the weight of constant decision-making. That's the whole premise behind the 50 Shades of Gray story. As business owners we want to be Christian Gray.....we want our people to trust us and know that we have their best interests in mind and will take care of them.

What we need to offer is an easier way, an easier path, an easier solution. Then we need to back it up with accountability and support and love. Following that formula, I guarantee anything you do will have the right people coming back time and time again. 

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Connect with Dana

We love hearing from you!

If you’ve got a question about today’s episode or want to leave us some inbox love, you can email us at hello@boss-mom.com. Or, you can always find Dana hanging out in her happy place, the Boss Mom Facebook Community. 

We would also LOVE it if you’d leave a podcast rating or review for us on iTunes! We know it can be kind of tricky to figure out, so here are a few step-by-step instructions on how to leave an iTunes rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad.

  1. Launch Apple’s Podcast app.
  2. Tap the Search tab.
  3. Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review.
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Apr 6, 2017

Ladies, hold onto your seats for this episode because you are about to have your world rocked (in the best way). Today I am diving deep into topics like mental health and racial reconciliation with Monique Melton, a relationships coach, Creator of the Esther 4:14 Experience, speaker and author of EntrepreFriendships.

For Monique, all of her work is central to building relationships and helping women do the work they're called to do. She is a natural big, bold dreamer, a deeply rooted woman of faith, a proud Navy wife and mama to two little ones who believes it's not about your comfort - it's about your growth (which I just LOVE!)

Seriously, you are going to want to tune in for this one. I promise you will be challenged and stretched and have your eyes opened in a way that will help you proactively move forward with purpose in how you live your life and run your business as a boss mom.

Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher

Monique's Boss Mom Journey

Monique's journey as a boss mom began in college roughly ten years ago when she worked as a professional makeup artist while studying sociology and psychology, before going on to study two years of graduate level clinical counseling at John's Hopkins University.

Over the past ten years she's graduated college, gotten married, had two babies, stopped doing makeup, and grown into the place she's at now where she really focuses on helping women create community and thriving relationships as their develop brands and businesses that make an impact.

She talks about how she's gotten to a place of being able to combine #allthethings she loves into her business, which is what it's all about for her.

When discussing her entry into motherhood, Monique describes it as being completely devastating due to a traumatic first birth experience, and struggling with postpartum mood disorder after both of her pregnancies.

“I used to feel like motherhood destroyed my life.” (7:38)

She shares though, that now she's come to realize that motherhood was the best thing that's ever happened to her because it has forced her to grow and stretch and learn, and challenged her to rise above everything she thought she knew about herself to become who she was created to be.

After the birth of both children she took a break away from work, which meant that when she was ready to return she had to go through seasons of rebuilding. These seasons helped her grow to value taking time to think through and reflect on how you're spending your life.

“I really appreciate taking time out to reflect and to think and process, and to not necessarily do but to just let yourself experience quiet and calm and just really hear what is next, and what is going on in your heart.” (9:35)

After the birth of her second daughter, she really questioned what she was doing and what she wanted to do with her life, which is what lead to her walking out what she's doing now.

She mentions that it's important for us to be open to that reflective process because we are constantly changing and evolving, and that needs to be reflected in everything we do.

Integrating Your Passions with Your Business

Struggling through seasons of mental illness really "put a monkey wrench" into things, Monique shares, but overcoming it has led to her becoming a much more compassionate and loving person.

“I did not go through that to keep it for myself. We’re all connected and so to keep your experiences for yourself, I feel like that’s selfish. We’re not living a life to live it alone, so if my experience is not just about me, how dare I keep it to myself because I’m afraid of what people might think?” 12:51

Monique is a living example of infusing what matters to you into the work you do, and she cares deeply about building strong relationships, normalizing conversation around mental health, and normalizing conversation around racial reconciliation.

Regarding mental health, she has this to say (which is amazing):

“You might still have disturbing thoughts or you might still have seasons of depression. It doesn’t mean that something’s wrong with you or you’re broken and all these things. It just means that this is a part of your journey and that it can get better. There’s certain things that you’re going to need to do in order to cope, and that’s fine - you don’t need to compare yourself to anyone else." (13:51)

Monique also feels similarly about building real, true connected community by having open, honest, respectful conversations about the struggles that we all face every day with race, religion, etc.

“Well if we don’t talk about it, how are we possibly going to heal and come together?” (14:27)

At the end of the day, she says, it all comes down to relationships and love, which is what she's all about.

The Importance of Having Hard Conversations

I love this analogy that Monique mentions comparing how we care for our relationships to how we care for our bodies. If you only feed your body the things you want or crave, you'll never live a truly healthy, fruitful, fulfilling life of longevity.

It's the same with relationships. If we avoid having real, tough conversations and only do what makes us happy or what feels comfortable in our relationships, that's not actually what's best for us. Over time we won't be able to interact relationally at an optimal level and we'll miss out on true connectivity.

"You can’t have connection without trust, vulnerability, open and honest communication.” (17:56)

We were created for community and to be in relationships, Monique expresses, and in our age of technology we've lost a lot of that real connection....which is why she's so passionate about correcting that through having honest, raw, vulnerable conversations that bring people together instead of continuing to push people further apart.

On Integrating Racial Reconciliation with Business

During this portion of our conversation, things start to get really interesting because Monique presents me with some really challenging points of view to consider when comparing my experience of life as a white woman in America with her experience of life as a black woman in America.

She shares some beautiful thoughts on the focus needing to be about all women joining together as sisters to engage in compassionate conversation and elevate each others' voices, which is how she believes healing can begin to take place.

She also strongly believes in the value of everyone making a conscious effort to open up conversations surrounding these topics in your business space and community, even suggesting that it's irresponsible not to.

Monique posed the thought that, if we say we want to build community where people feel safe, loved and supported, but we aren't demonstrating care for the issues that affect everyone on a daily basis, we aren't truly able to serve our communities well.

What YOU Can Do

You know we're all about practicality here, so Monique has a few great recommendations for how to move forward with purposeful action after listening to this episode.

The first thing is to actively seek out opportunities to engage in constructive, compassionate conversation with people of different backgrounds and perspectives. She says it's about education, enlightenment and figuring out together what we can do to identify actionable steps forward.

She also encourages us to be bold and courageous because there is no easy or perfect, right way to make these conversations happen. We just have to show up and do it from a place of love and humility.

Lastly, she mentions something profound, which is learning to take note of your behavior and perspective when building community. You want to focus on creating an INVITING atmosphere, not just a welcoming one. Monique says there is a difference between become welcome somewhere and being invited, which is what people really crave - the invitation.

Recommended Reading to Learn More about Racial Reconciliation

Referenced in the Show:

(Just FYI, some of these links may be affiliate links, which means if you make a purchase using the links I may receive some love in return!)

Connect with Dana + Monique

We love hearing from you!

If you’ve got a question about today’s episode or want to leave us some inbox love, you can email us at hello@boss-mom.com. Or, you can always find Dana hanging out in her happy place, the Boss Mom Facebook Community. 

We would also LOVE it if you’d leave a podcast rating or review for us on iTunes! We know it can be kind of tricky to figure out, so here are a few step-by-step instructions on how to leave an iTunes rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad.

  1. Launch Apple’s Podcast app.
  2. Tap the Search tab.
  3. Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review.
  4. Tap the blue Search key at the bottom right.
  5. Tap the album art for the podcast.
  6. Tap the Reviews tab.
  7. Tap Write a Review at the bottom.
  8. Enter your iTunes password to login.
  9. Tap the Stars to leave a rating.
  10. Enter title text and content to leave a review.
  11. Tap Send. 
Apr 4, 2017

Self care is one of those things we boss moms often talk about.....a lot more than we actually do. Am I right?? Boss mom life is not for the faint of heart as we constantly try to juggle #allthethings with as much grace as possible.

In today's episode you'll hear super real conversation surrounding the realities of self care (or lack thereof!) and some of our thoughts and ideas on how to get practical and start making self care a greater priority.

Listen + subscribe on iTunes // Stitcher

 

When you go through seasons in your life or business where you're really stressed out, not taking good care of yourself, and constantly running, it's inevitable to experience the emotional peaks and valleys that come from feeling like life is outside of your control.

The baseline things like rest, hydration, nutrition, exercise and recovery time are often the things that we give up first in the name of doing for other before ourselves.

There's a problem, however, when we let that response become our default instead of prioritizing our own self care so that we can more effectively serve and give as we live our lives.

When we talk about self care, we really aren't talking about the special, pampering things like massages and pedicures (although those things are nice too!) We are really talking about it from a perspective of taking a real, honest look at how you're doing and filling the gaps between where you're at and where you need to be.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself to get started on the road to better self care, especially when you find yourself in a season of push, which you'll hear us talk about a LOT in this episode (because hey, that's where I am right now!)

1. What is working?

It's easy when you feel run down, worn out and ragged to feel like nothing is working and everything is a mess. We've all been there, right? But always keep this thought in your back pocket: the only thing that is ever the end of the world is the end of the world.

Start first by assessing your life and finding the things that are working in this season. Celebrate those things, magnify them and make a point to give those areas more attention. What we focus on multiplies, so choose well!

2. What isn't working

Now it's time to get real and figure out what just isn't working so you can figure out how to problem solve and fill the gaps. The place to start is by identifying the things in your life that don't feel good or are resulting in less than stellar outcomes.

For example, if I judged whether I was getting enough sleep by my productivity, I wouldn't necessarily think there was an issue. But when I judge it based on my level of patience with my kids or overall ability to cope with life, it's much easier to notice that lack of sleep is causing issues.

Take the time regularly to assess what isn't working so you can address it and make the necessary adjustments.

3. What matters MOST?

Too often we sacrifice the things that matter most and kill ourself doing things that.....*drumroll*.....don't really matter! Now what kind of sense does that make??

Remember when you decided to become your own boss so you could be the one in charge and create something that allowed you to live in freedom? You get to do that in your LIFE, not just your business! Decide what's most important, and set your priorities up to reflect that.

At the end of the day, when you can answer (truthfully!) each of these questions, you'll be well on your way to making things better. Good self care begins with good self awareness....and all that's left to do is mix in a healthy dose of purposeful action.

There are tons of steps that you can take to improve your approach to caring for yourself, but here are a few ideas to get you started.....

1. Find support

For me, hiring a team has been my greatest form of self care because it has made the greatest impact on my ability to balance life and business better. For you, it may be factoring in more time with friends, or getting yourself into therapy or joining a new fitness class. Whatever it may be, make sure that you feel supported, so that while you try to care for yourself well, others can come alongside and care for you too.

2. Let things go

Sometimes the best self care starts with letting things go because they aren't sustainable or the things that matter most. It might be scary, but don't let fear keep you stuck in places that aren't good for you. Be realistic about the season you're in, and go back to your answers to the questions above when you need direction about what to keep and what to let go.

3. Set boundaries

Along with letting things go, it's super important to learn how and when to say no and set good boundaries (which, admittedly, I stink at!) And it's not just about setting boundaries for yourself - it's about setting boundaries with others too. How you treat yourself is how you will train others to treat you.

Bottom line: you are WORTH taking care of, and in order to thrive as a person and a CEO, you need to start taking better care of yourself TODAY. It can feel easier to continue to self sabotage rather than be honest with yourself and create better habits, but you will inevitably burn out and be totally useless to yourself and everyone else. And you were made for so much more than that.

 

Referenced in the Show:

(Just FYI, some of these links may be affiliate links, which means if you make a purchase using the links I may receive some love in return!)

Sponsor Spotlight: Thinkific

You all know just how much I love online courses and think that anyone with knowledge or expertise in an area should take that knowledge and turn it into a resource to share with others.

That's why I'm SO pumped to share Thinkific with you, the online course platform that I use and love for all Boss Mom courses.

Thinkific is dedicated to helping businesses grow through online education, and helping you easily create, market and sell online courses. This easy to use, all-inclusive resource will change your life - seriously.

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Connect with Dana & NJ

We love hearing from you!

If you’ve got a question about today’s episode or want to leave us some inbox love, you can email us at hello@boss-mom.com. Or, you can always find Dana hanging out in her happy place, the Boss Mom Facebook Community. 

We would also LOVE it if you’d leave a podcast rating or review for us on iTunes! We know it can be kind of tricky to figure out, so here are a few step-by-step instructions on how to leave an iTunes rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad.

  1. Launch Apple’s Podcast app.
  2. Tap the Search tab.
  3. Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review.
  4. Tap the blue Search key at the bottom right.
  5. Tap the album art for the podcast.
  6. Tap the Reviews tab.
  7. Tap Write a Review at the bottom.
  8. Enter your iTunes password to login.
  9. Tap the Stars to leave a rating.
  10. Enter title text and content to leave a review.
  11. Tap Send.
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