Self care is one of those things we boss moms often talk about.....a lot more than we actually do. Am I right?? Boss mom life is not for the faint of heart as we constantly try to juggle #allthethings with as much grace as possible.
In today's episode you'll hear super real conversation surrounding the realities of self care (or lack thereof!) and some of our thoughts and ideas on how to get practical and start making self care a greater priority.
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When you go through seasons in your life or business where you're really stressed out, not taking good care of yourself, and constantly running, it's inevitable to experience the emotional peaks and valleys that come from feeling like life is outside of your control.
The baseline things like rest, hydration, nutrition, exercise and recovery time are often the things that we give up first in the name of doing for other before ourselves.
There's a problem, however, when we let that response become our default instead of prioritizing our own self care so that we can more effectively serve and give as we live our lives.
When we talk about self care, we really aren't talking about the special, pampering things like massages and pedicures (although those things are nice too!) We are really talking about it from a perspective of taking a real, honest look at how you're doing and filling the gaps between where you're at and where you need to be.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself to get started on the road to better self care, especially when you find yourself in a season of push, which you'll hear us talk about a LOT in this episode (because hey, that's where I am right now!)
1. What is working?
It's easy when you feel run down, worn out and ragged to feel like nothing is working and everything is a mess. We've all been there, right? But always keep this thought in your back pocket: the only thing that is ever the end of the world is the end of the world.
Start first by assessing your life and finding the things that are working in this season. Celebrate those things, magnify them and make a point to give those areas more attention. What we focus on multiplies, so choose well!
2. What isn't working
Now it's time to get real and figure out what just isn't working so you can figure out how to problem solve and fill the gaps. The place to start is by identifying the things in your life that don't feel good or are resulting in less than stellar outcomes.
For example, if I judged whether I was getting enough sleep by my productivity, I wouldn't necessarily think there was an issue. But when I judge it based on my level of patience with my kids or overall ability to cope with life, it's much easier to notice that lack of sleep is causing issues.
Take the time regularly to assess what isn't working so you can address it and make the necessary adjustments.
3. What matters MOST?
Too often we sacrifice the things that matter most and kill ourself doing things that.....*drumroll*.....don't really matter! Now what kind of sense does that make??
Remember when you decided to become your own boss so you could be the one in charge and create something that allowed you to live in freedom? You get to do that in your LIFE, not just your business! Decide what's most important, and set your priorities up to reflect that.
At the end of the day, when you can answer (truthfully!) each of these questions, you'll be well on your way to making things better. Good self care begins with good self awareness....and all that's left to do is mix in a healthy dose of purposeful action.
There are tons of steps that you can take to improve your approach to caring for yourself, but here are a few ideas to get you started.....
1. Find support
For me, hiring a team has been my greatest form of self care because it has made the greatest impact on my ability to balance life and business better. For you, it may be factoring in more time with friends, or getting yourself into therapy or joining a new fitness class. Whatever it may be, make sure that you feel supported, so that while you try to care for yourself well, others can come alongside and care for you too.
2. Let things go
Sometimes the best self care starts with letting things go because they aren't sustainable or the things that matter most. It might be scary, but don't let fear keep you stuck in places that aren't good for you. Be realistic about the season you're in, and go back to your answers to the questions above when you need direction about what to keep and what to let go.
3. Set boundaries
Along with letting things go, it's super important to learn how and when to say no and set good boundaries (which, admittedly, I stink at!) And it's not just about setting boundaries for yourself - it's about setting boundaries with others too. How you treat yourself is how you will train others to treat you.
Bottom line: you are WORTH taking care of, and in order to thrive as a person and a CEO, you need to start taking better care of yourself TODAY. It can feel easier to continue to self sabotage rather than be honest with yourself and create better habits, but you will inevitably burn out and be totally useless to yourself and everyone else. And you were made for so much more than that.
Referenced in the Show:
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